Beat The Stress

1. Exercise Regularly. Start engaging in regular physical exercise 3-5X/week for 30 minutes, like jogging, walking, swimming, biking, dancing, aerobics, etc. Exercise releases mood-enhancing chemicals, like endorphins, the mind-body's natural painkiller and mood calmer. Briskly walking 2-3 miles allows us to experience a tangible sense of accomplishment and control. When everything is up in the air, exercise helps us feel grounded. Even better if you can find an exercise buddy.

2. Discover the Meditative and Sensual Mode. Here's an online reader's experience: "I usually put myself into stressful situations (I can't help it! I thrive on stress!) I know that stress will catch up with me in the end so I have discovered the best cure for the time-challenged. When I notice a panic attack or fatigue from stress setting in, I put everything to the side. I grab my portable radio and my Smashing Pumpkins, "Siamese Dream" tape. I plug it up in my bathroom and turn off the lights. I light a variety of candles throughout the room and take a warm bath. If my stress is way out of hand, I eat an apple and drink a glass of milk while in the bath. I take the mood from the lighting and from the smooth sound of the Pumpkins. Usually, after soaking for 25 minutes, I drain the water and stay in the tub, surrounding myself in happy thoughts. Once the tub is nearly drained, I get out, energized by the calm of the previous half-hour. That charges me to finish the work that I set aside and it gives me a peace to finish things for the rest of the month (or longer)! It's my happy time!"

3. Find a Hobby. Hobbies can be active or reflective; sometimes they can be both, like gardening. Hobbies may be shared, but often it's enjoyable activity pursued or engaged in solitude. Hiking in forests and mountains work wonders for me. Helps me get perspective, step back from my troubles, see a bigger picture, be at one with nature. Also, try your hand at creative writing, poetry or keeping a journal. Research shows writing that analyzes our problems and expresses our emotions is stress relieving. If you can't discover a hobby, I'd take that as a warning sign. You may actually be depressed. Loss of interest in things we once enjoyed, or loss of vitality in general, is a common symptom. 

4. Learn to Let Go. When people are depressed/stressed they often are clinging to a belief, a situation or a person that is ignoring or denying key aspects of reality. They are reluctant to have a face-to-face, heart-to-heart talk or confrontation. And loss doesn't just mean the death of a loved one. Loss can occur with the breakup of a relationship, having to start a new job or school (loss of familiar colleagues and friends) or a sense of losing control...as in excessive yelling and screaming. Loss of face or self-esteem along with anxiety and uncertainty often result. 

Sometimes we have to grieve our loss and let go to regain our energy and perspective and reengage with life in a vital manner. This may require doing a retreat, taking time out to reflect on these gnawing stressors: how they got there and your negative and positive coping patterns. Can you let go of one or two of these stress gremlins or at least step back from '"all or none" and rigidly idealistic expectations? Remember the Stress Doc's Basic Law of Safe Stress: Do know your limits and don't limit your "No"s!

Retreating is not giving up, but means sowing the psychic seeds of rebirth and rejuvenation. Whether the loss is a key person, a desired position or a powerful illusion, each deserves the respect of a mourning. The pit in the stomach, the clenched fists and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like spring upon winter, the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal.

5. Reflect upon "The Stress Doc's 6 'F' Loss and Gain Change Model." Grappling with change and choice often means:

1) by definition, letting go of the Familiar, and the security that familiarity can provide (of, course sometimes it can be a great relief to "let go" or escape the routine),

2) confronting an unpredictable Future, which can be scary and depressing, yet also exciting and hopeful,

3) dealing with loss of Face or self-esteem, especially if you are not ready for the choice, feel it's imposed upon you or it may result in lower status or achievement or rejection. Significant change often places you outside your comfort zone - may shake up your sense of identity; definitely a "danger-opportunity for growth" scenario, and

4) destabilizing your present Focus; you need to sort the forest from the trees, habitual reactions or responses, no longer cut it; mastering loss and change requires new performance, process and path.

5) get Feedback from people who have known you prior to the loss and change process; these folks can help provide an identity anchor in a crisis or transitional tempest. Also, make sure the feedback is from people who can be objective, who will identify your strengths and your vulnerabilites.

6) and for some there will be a sixth "F": Faith. Whether through a belief in a transcendent being or by experiencing the higher power of a support group - with its network of interactions - healing energy and hope appear on the horizon. Keeping the faith provides support for those "dark night of the soul" episodes.