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Modern couples are becoming more and more liberated to live apart from their parents. Education and enlightenment are bringing about this change in India. Sophisticated land reforms and the breaking up of the joint-family is also a cause attributable to it. The in-laws can contribute greatly to the attainment of bliss and concord in married life. They are the blood relations of both the spouses and as the saying goes, "blood is thicker than water". It is painful to cut oneself off completely from one's near and dear ones. But married life is an organisation that has to be cultivated and as a unit of society, it has to ward off any threats that may disrupt its peace. If the in-laws are unreasonable and adamant, there may be no other course left for the saving of the marriage than getting separated from them.
The husband's parents and other cognates are generally the most proximate ones to the couple. The bride has to leave her own people and stay in a family most of whose members may be and often are strangers to her. It is the duty of the in-laws to take the bride within the family circle at one sweep. She is not a stranger or a visitor in the family and everybody in the husband's house including servants may be made to realise this. Sometimes the brothers or sisters of the husband may present problems. This is quite understandable since the young may be led more often by the heart than the head. But the older members of the family have to bring them together through adequate briefing and admonitions, if necessary.
It is not outward behaviour but inward response that counts most. Insinuations and innuendoes tend to make the relationship strained and bitter. Acceptance or rejection may be evident through small acts or light talk. It is not always possible for the husband and wife to come from the same economic background or the same social class or status (as long as we are not living in a classless society) and a clash of cultures may not be entirely avoidable. If the elders in the family are sympathetic and take pains unobtrusively to train the bride (since the bridegroom has generally less contacts with his in-laws), the dark clouds of misunderstanding may not form at all. Just as the new bride is expected to try her best to be one with the husband's family, so also the members of the husband's family have to extend their helping hand on all occasions to make the bride adapt herself to the new family in a natural, gracious way.
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